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Disposable Heroes

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Wanderer:
So, I decided it was time for a nice game of Disposeable Heroes.

Settings:
AI 9/9 Fortress Baron / Neinzul Enthusiast (seemed thematic)
Seed is the 80 planet simple seed 928787814.  Keith, you amazing man, they connect through Blade Spawners?  It's like you know my tastes... :)  Next thing I know you'll be sending me Shannon Doherty carrying nothing but a case of Stella Artois.  I almost took a 6 planet start, the blades being semi-thematic.  Alas, I didn't.

Plot Settings: Human Colony Rebellions, Human Resistance Fighters, Zenith Devourer, Zenith Dyson Sphere, Zenith Traders, Schizo

1/30 min AIP increase with complex ship types and full fog of war.

Opening Theme Music: Blue Man Group


You stare at a simple stage, with a large display screen and a small podium to the right of it.  In the foreground, all you see in the dark theater is the shapes of antenna and bulbous bodies barely poking up above the seat backs.

*A riding crop whaps the wall as a tall man in a military uniform walks in*

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRIGHT you Maggots!   And Leeches.  And you beetles.  And... well, whatever the hell YOU are (points at a big blob of nanites in a pile)... LISTEN UP!  I'm only gonna say this ONCE!

You all know damned well we rescued your hive and your queen is currently in our VERY BEST! medical facility we have to offer!  The AI tried to wipe you out TOO!  And now your queen's life is dependent on humanity's survival.  You're our shock troops!

GET OVER IT!  You breed faster and are tougher!  HEY HEY!  Remember what happened to the roaches!  We beat them so badly they went to the AI for protection, now settle down.  *whips out a gun and fires, a set of antenna falls in the front row* SETTLE DOWN!

That's better.  Here's our situation!



Alright, now, the Red Area?!  That's Homeland!  This is to be protected AT ALL COSTS!  If you don't, your queen dies, your hive dies, your young dies!  You'll be dead already anyway but still, MAKE SURE THEY DON'T GET HERE!  There three worlds there, Mantis, Sushi, and No Way Out.  See them?  *WHAP* Right there you blind...

*He grabs an insect and rubs his antenna on the three choke points in the SE area of the red circle* THOSE PLANETS YA BLOODY BUG!  *He tosses the insectoid back in its seat and rubs his hands on his pants repeatedly while still talking*

That blue area just to the right?  Here, look, I labeled it you illerate bunch of bugs... ARGH.  FINE.  That's the Backyard!  We don't want nuttin' there we need to worry about, see?  Right, leechboy, free food.  Um, yeah... just keep... um... licking your lips like that... yeah.  Errr...  someone get him a towel?  or something?

Anyway, alright, that yellow section right in the middle, yeah, we're gonna call that CENTER.  Right, nice and easy for you.

Okay, the ... *looks down at his cue card in his hand* Fuschia... Fuchia?  What are we, interior designers?  The PURPLE section in the lower left is called the Southwest.  Got it?  South.  West.  Say it with me.

*He suddenly pales* Alright, nevermind.  Don't say it with me.  Just... stop... doing that thing with your... mandibles please.  Ugh.

*Pops a Rolaids, muttering something that can't be heard from the back of the theater*

Alright, the lower right?  Yeah, that's the Maze.  Right, the orange area.  Why?  Because it took me the better part of half an hour to untangle the routing in there.  Just get over it.

The last area which is *consulting cue card* Cyan...  REALLY?!  There's, what, 5000 of us left and I gotta get a guy who wants to be an interior decorator as my presentation creator?!  LIGHT BLUE you ... nevermind!  Anyway, we're naming that Bob.  Why?!  You little Cretin, because the god Bob deserves some respect, even from you!  That and it's my uncle's name.  He died saving your worthless hides so you'll be screaming his name during every system you fight in while you're destroying the AI Homeworlds.

We expect the AI Homeworlds to be somewhere in the Maze and in Bob sector.  Both AIs might be really deep in Bob, we're not sure.  We won't know until we get to know Bob better and figure out where all the pain is in Bob.  As we travel around the insides of Bob, we'll get to know Bob a lot better, intimately even.  I want you all to take it real slow in Bob.  If you go too quick we might set off Bob and it'll explode all over us.  We expect Bob's pretty powerful, having been left alone for far too long, so we're not sure what to expect.

*blinks at his cue card, and turns a horribly beat red.  A snickering is heard off stage right.  The man on stage turns to the offstage snicker*  "There's going to be 4,999 of us VERY SHORTLY!"

Anyway, get out of here and KILL SOMETHING!  LISTEN TO THE RADIO you crazy bugs!  Go out and fight for the right to have a chance to breed before WE kill you for your living space!  Fight for the chance to fight for the chance to live!  GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!


... and so it begins.  Immediate goals for the first hour.  Hvy Research on the Harvesters.  Blow out two planets in all directions for breathing space and get the MK I fleet up as homeworld patrollers.  Determine what to expect on Sushi, No Way Out, and Mantis and their connectors as my 3 primary chokepoints for homeworld defense.  Blow through the Backyard, see if there's anything worth taking back there, then nerf the hell out of it once I'm done and forget it ever existed.

Wanderer:
Initial scouting done, tons of forts as expected against the Baron.

However, I had to share:



Seriously.  That's with the 2x Max Harvester III upgrades.  That's with 60x Engi Is on the Neinzul builders and 30 on the MK I standard fleet builders.  At 4.5 minutes into the game I'm over half a mill in resources.

*blink*

I should add, 1500 Neinzul fleet swarming a MK IV system out of the gate is a thing of joy.  The parasites haven't actually reclaimed a blessed thing yet but that's besides the point.  This is going to be a hysterical game.

Wanderer:
At 8 minutes I get A 5 way wave coming at me on four planets, having already popped one of the Warp Gates against the rear systems.  I'm just swarming all my neighbors, fortresses and all.  I've beefed Tigers and Commando's to two, have 3 space docks going because of build speed, and ~100 Engi Is on my primary build planet going bonkers.

My 'rear guard' of 1000 MK I triangles are split in two covering two of the planets against ~80 ships/wave.  The other two are guarded via an FRD pathing for the neinzuls while the rest of the mob is out causing mayhem.

This is going to get fast updates.  I truly don't expect this game to take very long.


Had a couple of false starts, underestimating the power of 1000 ship waves coming at the final point I left open (west most world in Homeland) while my neinzuls were out harassing the galaxy.  I'm still inside the first 15 minutes due to three save scums of goofing around.  I blame portions of this on the six pack of beer I've drank already and laughing hysterically as I keep building Space Ports to TRY to keep up with my Econ.  I'm going to open up Engi IIs just because at this rate.  This is HYSTERICAL.

I'm probably laughing to hard but I really just can't take this seriously.  It's just far too damned funny!

Wanderer:
Ow ow ow, lost a home Human Settlement and some of the little +1 guys at Ceasar, but we held.  Silly Human, you have TURRETS! D'oh!

At 14:30 or so we ran into a Fort III + Superfort on Mantis.  At 16:00 or so the Fortress was dead with the super fort at ~40% left and the bugs were redirected to assist the defense at Ceasar. 

Building off 150 Lightnings, 150 Flaks, 300 or so Snipers, AND keeping up all the neinzul + Standard fleet.  Now, THAT will chew into your economy!

Particularly simultaneously with over 130 Engi Is going all over the place. XD

At 19:00 the bugs, with the heavily weakened econ, hit Mantis again, being Mapped to FRD a long run towards the backyard from the southern side, passing through Ceasar from now on as a doublecheck.

BWAHAHAH, at 21:00 or so the Devourer moved into Ceasar, trying to eat the neverending Neinzul flood.

At ~24:00 another wave announced with cookie hanging out in Ceasar, so I deflected the Neinzul bugs to another pathing so he'd eat the wave after he got done chewing on my locally rebuilt MK I reponse fleet.  This should be funny... :)

At 26:30 the Superfort on Mantis dies.  Cookie ate more of my fleet than theirs, but 155 lightning turrets will help with that...

30:00: +1 AIP
AI: Did you really expect that to work?

Did I expect WHAT to work?!  Where the heck did THAT come from?!?!  AIP is at 57, it's not like I've been hiding at 10.

What's that naughty AI up to THIS TIME?!  I wonder if he's whining about me sending the Cookie off to eat him a while.

Oh, yeah, entire Neinzul force is up to MK II by now from homeworld researching.  I'm up to 12 spacedocks on the Bug-Build world.  Watching Spire Shield IIIs and FF IIIs just melt is fun.

35:00

Oh.  My.  God.  On Chaos March in the backyard I found the counter to the NEinzul Swarm.  Ever run headfirst into an AI Eye on a MK IV world with 2000 ships?  This should be FUN!

WHOOPS!  SCOUTS FIRST!

Wanderer:
Redirect the bug-assault through the closest homeworlds to the backyard and then ship them along the north side... along with a mass of scouts to check for eyes!  None there, woot woot!

35:00 All home command stations get a small bank of 50 Basic I turrets for good luck.

No serious impact from freeing 1000+ MK III ships, but mostly because of the redirections.  Is there a reason I don't auto-target Neinzul spawner posts?  Just wierd.  I'll have to go back and do some cleanup.  Did I mention that was also currently a keepstrike on Kurita?

Oh my god, this is like watching a pirahna attack...

40:00 Found a Fact IV on Poker in the backyard.  Not sure what I'd do with it, it can't produce fast enough, but funny nonetheless.  I'll probably take that for the CSG eventually.  AIP: 60

44:30:


Tiny little thing, only 3000 ships at AIP 60.

SERIOUSLY!?

Redirect the Pirahna swarm through Ceasar for defense.

BWAHAHAH, yeah, okay.  No problems.  SQUISHIE!!!!!  Particularly after I toss up a cap of 300 LRMs.

51:00 Took on another AI Eye at Pox Aurelia in the Southwest by accident, but I did pop the Datacenter in there.  Redirecting towards Central again.

54:00 I see the AI still has a sense of humor...



56:00 Goofing off with GIMP in another window, an EMP starts going off from the Maze Entrance towards the homeworld in Blackjack traveling through the Southwest.  Git 'em, boys!

1:00:00 Cookie Monster is harassing the pirahna mob down in the Southwest/Central/Maze area on Spagetti.  I think he's somewhere between TripleChocolateChip heaven and frickin' confused.

EMP got whacked after he went off the SECOND time in Blackjack.  Cute.

I'm going to need to start looking for a world to take as a step-stone shortly... OH LOOK!  An ARS on Kerensky in the Southwest.  Science II being built for investigation.

1:03:00 Pirahna swarm no likie Grav Guardian in Maze Entrance.

1:05:00 Laser Gatlings, Zenith Bombards, or Honeycombs in ARS.  AIP 49.  Hm.  Not sure yet, pirahnas still have more in range to eat.  Get back to that.   All are tasty tasty though, not really worth a hack.  If I did hack, it'd have to be for gatlings.  SWARM BABY SWARM!

Open up Fleet Scout II for deeper scouting.  100 of them?  Oh, very nice.  2250 K to play with still.

1:10:00 I need an Eye popper.  Raid Is will not be enough, I need research, two planets.  Time to seriously pick some.  Hm.

Kerensky has the ARS and is wicked deep, good stepping stone.  That's one.

That's 4 hops to Blackjack, dead center of the Maze, with a D-Class on it.  Perfect, except for one thing.

It's got an Eye on it.  Cute.    ::)

Well, we'll see what happens. Kerensky first of course.  I need to take that to go that deep anyway.

Ergh, maybe I DO have enough firepower... 15*Raid Is?!  This might work... XD  Started building those off...

1:18:00 Deep strike raid against Kurita goes great except for the endless Spire shield.  At 800 Threat I back off.  I need MK IIs as well for that system.

1:22:00 I pop a Counterstrike III to help free up one of the Eyes in the Southwest.  It goes after jumping jax, my bug-build world.  That's kinda funny.

1:27:00 Pop another DC in Central.  AIP 33.  Floor is 14.  Dang those SF Posts and warp gates really add up, don't they...

1:29:00 I put the bug-build into a SHIFT-FRD route to cover the homeworlds for the counterstrike landing in 7 minutes.  I got work to do with the raids anyway.  I've leveled anything that's actually in striking range and not hiding behind an AI Eye, and that's upwards of 30 planets already nerfed.

1:30:00 Another counterstrike off an Eye world goes for Jumping Jax.  I must just live well.

1:31:00 Whoops.  Constant bug-construction + 130 Mercenary fighters on Jumping Jax = dead economy.  Shut that back off...

1:33:00 Ah, another Fact IV in Central, at Syphon.  That'll work much better.  Hadn't seen it because of AI Eye avoidance earlier.

1:35:00 1 minute till first Counter hits.  Another AI World in the SW is a wise-acre, it's got a stealth guard post on it.  I know where it is, but I'll need to get Scout SS Is down here to force it into the open.  Keep clearing while I wait for one to build on Jax.

1:36:00 I screw up with the Raids and leave them in range of a fortress, half are dead, the other half are half dead.

First counter arrives and is chewed on.  It's not obliterated by the pirahna fleet immediately, but they get the job done with no concerns for the safety of the homeworld.

Continue the defensive patrol until second counter is ignited in 7 minutes.  I'm still doing Raid SS work anyway.

1:37:00 The damaged raids get back to JJ for reinforcement and the Scout SSs get to the stealth post.  Yep, right where I thought it was.  Got a Spire Shield post on THIS planet, too.  Takes about 4 - 5 mins for the 15 Raids to pop one of those at MK III.

1:38:00 One of the border worlds has gotten up to 120 units.  Alter the defensive pathing of the bug-build to include this planet for scouring.

1:40:00 Having sent the raids back into the Southwest, and dealing with a little map exploration and re-setting my 123 leftover fleet scouts to Alt-Picket again, I catch up with my Raids andd there's only 14.  Should have waited a moment to let the Bugs engage that 120 unit system, I guess.  Ah well.

Two ARSs are in the Southwest, now that I've cleard most of the AI-Eye worlds.  Between those, the D-Class into Maze, and the B-Class in Central, that'll give me some reasonable stepping stones.  Now, I have to decide, do I continue to defend at the homeworlds, or do I move the whipping boy?

The real question is, do I actually expect this game to last long enough to pop a CPA?  Yes, 1, at around 3.5 hours.  I can always retreat back to the Homeworlds and abandon any stepstones.  We'll move it.  Safer all around that way.  Now... WHERE?... That's a dang good question.  I need to see if either of the AI HWs is in the Maze before I finalize that decision.

1:43:00 Resources back at max, turn the Merc constructor back on for Merc Fighters.

15 seconds later: Turn the merc constructor back off after resources drop by 1.2 mill of m+c producing a mere 65 fighters.  Gyeah! XD

1:44:00 Second Counterstrike hits.  Raid SS escapes the defenders into the wild.

1:44:45 Counterstrike destroyed.  The kids are sent to go beat on something in the Maze with a Superfortress on it.

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